The Gates of Hell

I gave this such an enticing title, but it really isn't that exciting. Sorry for the letdown.

Pretty much, I've just been having a terrible week, and I don't feel like its the end of my problems. To begin with, last week I had a terrible headache and then my period began (sorry, I know you males didn't really want to hear that, but it is a natural process for more than half of the population and it causes issues). I became a bit confused and tired. This progressed into a physical exhaustion that left me stranded upon couches for nearly a week. To some degree, I will admit that I enjoyed my illness, as I needed a break. The upcoming wedding, my job, the financial situation and my living situation were all weighing on my quite a bit.

When I returned to work this past Wednesday, I felt great until after lunch when I received the news that my father had an allergic reaction to the antibiotic he was taking. He was taken to the Intensive Care Unit at the hospital until he recovered. Meanwhile at home, the dog that I've had and loved since I was six years old passed out in the backyard. She was taken to the vet clinic, but we had to put her down the following morning. Yesterday we also buried her. RIP Pebbles, best dog in the world.

During this time, our dog Tribble had been boarding somewhere, as we have a dog in heat at the house and we do not want her bred just yet. Tribble was driving everyone insane with his 24/7 whining fest. Late last night, he ran away and has not returned.

So, it has been a bad week and now I feel like I am relapsing into my virus again. I would really like to pass out.

I also just noticed a diamond in my engagement ring fell out.

Airbending to Colorado

There are a lot of updates that need to occur with this blog. Perhaps someday in 4,000 years I will actually attempt them. Like on that day when I'm not too tired or busy.

Anyway, today I am blogging a short bit about an awesome dream I had last night. In this dream, I had an airbending staff. If you are not aware, the thing the animated child is holding in the picture below is an airbending staff, or an airbending glider.

 Though I could not airbend or anything in the dream, I could still fly around. It was some new invention or something. I'm not really sure how it worked, except I was suddenly able to travel across America in a day, and take a trip to any place I wanted to, just as a simple day trip. I was SO HAPPY. I kept going at night though, which apparently was going to get me into trouble. I wanted to fly to Colorado, but first I went to Vancouver on the West Coast, and apparently there was one on the East Coast as well. I don't remember why or how I got this glider thing, but suddenly I was FREE! I think I did do something illegal though I don't remember what, and somehow my brother Coyt and my fiance Justin met me on the East Coast. We were all considering quitting our jobs and taking flights around the world. I was totes going to glide to Colorado that night, after we visited Coyt's pick, which was Texas for some reason.

So yes, I thought I'd just share the BEST DREAM EVER. I want to travel across the country on a glider any time I so desire.

Sleep Deprivation

Today I am just going to ramble. This is because I am tired. So really, I will be rambling about being tired. Why am I tired? I stayed up too late last night, and I woke up a bit earlier than usual this morning.

I personally think being sleepy may be similar to taking a small dose of a depressant. I currently feel like I might be on the pain medication I was taking after I had my wisdom teeth removed. However, I know that I am not, unless my milk was drugged. Or potentially, my broccoli cheddar soup. I did drink green tea as well, but green tea has caffeine and therefore would not necessarily induce sleep. It is relaxing though. So is being sleepy.

I heard somewhere that sleep-deprived driving causes more accidents than drunk driving. I do not know if it was true, but it would make sense. I feel like my head may not be connected to my body right now.

I have spent some time to look up some facts about Sleep Deprivation. I had them copied and pasted in here, but I decided to just put the website link up instead, since it was all directly from it: http://www.squidoo.com/sleep-help I am unaware of whether any of this is true or not, but I put it up anyway. #irresponsible

I would just like to say, being a female on that time of the month does my brains no good either. Perhaps that was TMI for you, but I can't say that I care. I am too tired to care. But don't worry. I'm not scary. Typically the only way you can tell if I'm on it is if I am sleepy and potentially in pain.

Although my stomach hurts very much and I feel like I am on a significant dosage of pain meds, I am also ecstatic right now. I have TWO monitors at work now. That's right, TWO. I am writing this from my second monitor. It is beautiful. Actually, it is the exact same as my other monitor, but it is still wonderful. I had to cram a lot of my origami to other parts of my cubicle, but that is okay. It has been worth it. Also one of our wonderful supervisors has fixed an important program that didn't open for me before. This will make my days far less infuriating.

Still, my lifelong dream right now is to go home and sleep. I feel like I could just sleep through the rest of my life. It sounds amazing right now. It is nothing against being awake, just that I am simply so tired, and sleeping sounds like such a magnificent luxury that I am nearly certain I could be happy if I just never woke up again. I am not allowed though, because I do have a fiance and a family and I think they would be pretty upset. So would several of my friends.

Origami Mice

Although I can smash the "beginner" level, I cannot win at chess on "easy". I will now return to folding small, origami mice.

The Paradox of Right

This is one of the main messages I wish people would pick up on. I've posted it in lots of places already, but it belongs on my blog, also. The following blog is about what I call the Paradox of Right.

Everyone always thinks their right, right? (speaking of beliefs and opinions, not of actions)

If people thought that they were wrong, then the world would just fall apart. You can't believe in something you call wrong. I'm sure everybody knows this (at least in the back of their heads) but its sort of hard to think about. What if people thought they were wrong, yet they believed in it anyway? I'm fairly certain that can lead to insanity.

But everyone is not right, yet still, we have to think we are, or else things will not make any sense. Imagine if we all believed we were wrong, but still believed it. As I stated, we would probably go insane. We must think we are right. All the time.

So, since we cannot think we are wrong and still believe in something, then we must establish our opinions. After all, with no opinions, we would discover nothing. Take science into consideration: no one would find any answers to their questions if they did not believe in what they were searching for.

However, as stated, everyone is not right. More than likely, everyone is wrong, at least to some extent. This is a very humbling thought for humanity. Each individual human absolutely MUST believe they are right, or at least probably right, but at the same time KNOW that they are wrong and probably wrong. (How very paradoxical)

Therefore, you cannot prove to anyone that you are right unless they already partially believe you. Least of all and not even ignorance can be proven wrong. Someone who is wrong who believes they are right will be so absolutely convinced they are right because they are ignorant of their incorrectness. You can prove nothing to such a wall. In the meantime, you can’t believe anything new, and no one can prove anything to you unless you are open to the possibility that they are correct.

Moreover, you can't judge another for thinking they are right because they can't think that they are wrong. And neither can you. Thus is the curse of humankind, and why we continue to fight. "Why can't we get along?" is easy to answer with this simple explanation. We cannot get along because we believe we are right. If you do not believe in something, then what do you amount to and why are you alive? But if you choose something to believe in, then you will have to be forced to accept that you are potentially wrong. Or you could just continue convincing yourself that you are right.

Of course, then you must wonder. Someone must be right somewhere. I do not believe that individual is human. But that is only my opinion.

So in conclusion of the previous statements: just because you’re right, doesn’t mean you’re right, because everyone else is also right whether they are actually right or not.


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Before I completely close this blog, there is a Part Two that you may enjoy. The Paradox of Right explains how futile it is to beat a dead horse. The following is from a page online that my brother found regarding the beating of dead horses.

"Dakota tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, in business we often try other strategies with dead horses, including the following:

1. Buying a stronger whip.

2. Changing riders.

3. Say things like, "This is the way we have always ridden this horse."

4. Appointing a committee to study the horse.

5. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.

6. Increasing the standards to ride dead horses.

7. Appointing a tiger team to revive the dead horse.

8. Creating a training session to increase our riding ability.

9. Comparing the state of dead horses in today's environment.

10. Change the requirements declaring that "This horse is not dead."

11. Hire contractors to ride the dead horse.

12. Harnessing several dead horses together for increased speed.

13. Declaring that "No horse is too dead to beat."

14. Providing additional funding to increase the horse's performance.

15. Do a Cost Analysis study to see if contractors can ride it cheaper.

16. Purchase a product to make dead horses run faster.

17. Declare the horse is "better, faster and cheaper" dead.

18. Form a quality circle to find uses for dead horses.

19. Revisit the performance requirements for horses.

20. Say this horse was procured with cost as an independent variable.

21. Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position.

Make Everything OK

The magic button — Make Everything OK

Car Wrecks and Other Bad Days

A bad day has two sides. First, there is the surface: you got in a car wreck, you lost your wedding ring, you forgot to bring lunch to work and ran out of money, you're low on sleep and had to handle a very irritating situation at work... the list could go on.

Today I am having one of those days, but as I waited for two hours in my car by the side of the road for the police to come, I decided to put my Muse and Incubus away (great musicians, though clearly atheist), and instead I slid a self-created mix of worship music to comfort me. It wasn't too long before I was listening to a song called "Hallelujahs" by Chris Rice (no, perhaps not the most original title, but you must admit, "hallelujah" is a really awesome word). It described beautiful things in nature.

At one point, he mentions a breaching whale. Every time I hear this line, I imagine myself on a beach at night. The sky is navy blue and starry, and sometimes I picture there to be a glowing white disc in the distance (the moon). The violet waves are gently lapping the beach, not substantial enough to create a lot of foam. These waves are cool and they blanket my feet for a moment, pulling the sand from beneath and around them, so that when the water has retreated, I am almost to my ankles in sand. Out in the ocean, the water is sparkling. There is no light to do this, except the stars and the moon. But then, the surface is disturbed as a great, dark creature rears itself from the water. It is far from the shore, but you can see that it is huge. It moves gracefully back under, and then swims up again, only to flop on the surface, like its playing.

That image stuck with me too heavily for me to think of any others, but it was powerful. It was at this point I paid attention to the second side of a bad day: the resolution. If God is big enough, powerful enough, and wonderful enough to create oceans and whales and all sorts of things that were abstract ideas before, then why am I worried about so many things today? They are things that I will need to solve, but nothing truly important has been compromised. Instead, I have been building my faith. I had a car wreck, but if God can raise mountains, calm storms and form the very sky that I stand under, then there is no reason to fear the loss of things only made valuable by other men.