Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Temporary Sleep Deprivation = Temporary Emotional Enlightenment

I was just noticing recently, I think my life is great, or just normal until I slowly start to realize that things aren't going the way I want them to (usually do to lack of movement throughout too many days in a row). Then I start to get depressed, but I continue to act however I was acting before, just slightly more likely to gnash out at someone. But recently I realized that when I'm really truly sleep deprived, I WILL notice how I ACTUALLY feel. When I'm really tired and really happy, I'll be bubbly and I'll have a hard time shutting up (possibly) or else I'll be really happy and really spacey but everyone will ask me if I'm sad because I'm too tired to make a facial expression. If I'm really upset then I'll cry really easily, everything will suddenly make sense, and I'll just want to be alone all day. If I'm angry inside it just switches to sad mode because being angry takes a lot of effort, and I don't see the point in putting effort into that anyway. If I'm just content because nothing is really on my mind, then I'll just daydream so something will be on my mind.

Personally, I find this phenomenon kind of intriguing. Apparently if I'm confused as to how I feel, I can just sleep deprive myself (yes, this can happen sometimes, because even if I explore how I feel, I usually come up with multiple possibilities. I have too many things on my mind to really pick out one emotion).

I will add, to those of you who may be worried, I do not think the consequences of lacking sleep are worth knowing exactly how I feel, and I probably will not go out of my way to try it. Just thought I'd add that.

Moving on, I think I might study neural pathways and such next time I research so that I can explain this. There is a high possibility that I am just weird. It also might just be that when I'm tired I can't keep my emotions in check, and when I'm not tired, I always have my guard up. Mind you, I have to have had less than 4 hours of sleep in the last thirty or so hours for me to be that tired. I think it can happen at 6, if on previous nights I also haven't had enough sleep. But it does take an extreme form. As soon as I have this topic ironed out, I will briefly inform you, if possible. If not, you'll get a good science lesson.

This is how I feel when I'm tired. Strange things go through my head, and I will think up things I'd normally only think to say in a dream. This is a very weird drawing. Quite reminiscent of my weird dreams, and weird thoughts during sleep deprivation.

This is how I feel when I've just come up with a story idea at four or five in the morning.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Seven Reasons to be a Good Person

In this world, I have observed at least seven reasons why anyone does anything good. As human beings, most of us fall under the first six, but there are some rare ones who fall under the last. The thing is, its very complicated to fall under the last category. It seems very simple as a concept, but when you really try it, you find yourself stumbling the whole way. So, I thought I'd write about why you should avoid the first six as being your base reasons, and how you can abide in the seventh.

Of course, each motive has its place, but if the action only involves the first six rationales, then it becomes something empty, corrupted, and/or useless. And I am not saying that I've always had a perfect record because I've failed just as many times as any human, but I do my best, and I believe that everyone else should try to do their best as well. So I'm attempting to help anyone interested out.

Because this blog is directed towards Christians, I suggest you use Bible Gateway, or your own bible to read the suggested verses, or at least the ones that pertain to you the most.

FEAR: First off, people are afraid that if they don't do what God wants of them, they could be cast into some fiery pits, or they are afraid that karma for doing bad will turn back around on them. But if you do things simply out of fear then you are forgetting the purpose that you do it for. You might as well be a machine or a slave, who takes commands, rather than does the good thing on their own. The same fits for the next motive. This kind of fear only leaves you aimless and hollow.
1 John 4:17-19
CONSCIENCE: This might seem like a good reason at first. Something in your gut tells you its the right thing to do, so isn't that deep enough? But its not by itself. The conscience is half the story. Its that thing from God that tells you when something is a good or bad idea, but you're following it blindly, without putting any feeling behind your actions. If you can't do it for love, then conscience might be a good second choice, because we are all human and we all fall short of the glory of God. But don't just do good things because something says its right. Its an empty and meaningless reason.
1 Corinthians 8:6-8
AVOIDING CONFLICT: These people may not even be afraid exactly of any harm coming to them, but more of the complications behind it. It is an act of intelligence, doing good simply because it is more complicated to deal with the consequences of the bad. Honestly, these people don't seem to notice that complications come with any decision you make, both good and bad. This is a vain purpose.
Revelation 3:15-17
GUILT: Some people are very pessimistic and downhearted for various reasons, and they tend to think about all the wrongs they committed in their past. They feel a need to redeem themselves and so they continue to try their hardest to "work" their way back up. This is draining and in the end, of little value in your heart. Holding yourself to a high standard only causes you to hold others to a high standard. You start to wonder, if you can do things right, then why don't others? Then you will only be the image of a good person, but when you speak it will all be vanity. That leads into the following reason.
Romans 6:13-17
TO KEEP UP A GOOD IMAGE: There are people, we all know, who just run go about doing good things because it makes them worthy of more praise and more attention, like Gilderoy Lockeheart from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. This is obviously vain, not to mention sickening. I'm pretty sure this is the worst one, if you can actually say that one is worse than the other.
Matthew 23, particularly verse 14
IN ORDER TO GET TO A BETTER PLACE: This reason is common among humanity, and equally meaningless. Most religions follow either this one or fear. The best example for this is Buddhism. You're doing your best to work your way up, so in the end you reach Nirvana, or for Christians, doing good works to reach Heaven is just as bad. You're working your way up, so that when you get there... what happens? Your soul may be at peace but for what reason, and how has it ultimately benefited the world or any of the others around you, that you reached Nirvana? I should think it would be more prudent for a good person to remain on Earth and suffer longer to make it into a better place, rather than to just leave. And what makes any human think they can work to be equal to the glory of God and stand in his presence without his love? Because in this situation, you are excusing love as an important reason and just attempting to say that you can be as good as God because you somehow deserve to be somewhere better, because you sinned less than someone else. This is selfish.
Romans 3:23
Therefore, in light of everything I have just said, there is only one good reason left, and that is LOVE: All of the other six reasons can be justified when put with love, but without it, they mean nothing. With love as the driving force for your actions, you will feel fulfilled in the end, you will be effective, and you will honor and respect those who are around you. In John 13, Jesus wiped the feet of the disciples, saying that no servant is greater than his master, and no messenger is greater than the one who sent him. He washed the disciple's feet to tell them that if the son of God stooped down for them, then they should definitely help each other as humans. But he did so out of love - the love he received from his father in heaven, that he passed then to the disciples so they could pass it onward to those around them. Love will never fail and in comparison, it is the one thing that will never lose its meaning.
Moreover, love is an action and not a feeling. Perhaps you don't feel like assisting someone when they need it, but if you love them, then you will anyway. That is love. You don't happy someone, or angry someone. But you can love them < notice how it takes the place of the sentence's verb. When you abide in perfect love, you know there is nothing to fear, because it is the ultimate command that supersedes even the needs of your body - your soul is complete.
1 Corinthians 13

As Christians, doing good things for love can hurt, because while God loves the world, and we do in turn, the world hates us, and the world hates God. But we continue anyway because God loves us too, so in return we should love what he loves. Being loved by God has immeasurable value. It has an end goal. Not only do you end up happy, but you can testify to those who meet you that your joy comes from God, so that they can also have it. And don't forget that in doing that, you make God cheerful as well. Everyone should know how it feels to truly be loved, and you have a chance to show them every time you do something good, so why pass it up?

In conclusion to this very long blog, don't make someone else into your self improvement project. Do things because in your heart you want to help others and you want to please God. Then in the end, you'll please yourself, without even trying.