Sleep Deprivation

Today I am just going to ramble. This is because I am tired. So really, I will be rambling about being tired. Why am I tired? I stayed up too late last night, and I woke up a bit earlier than usual this morning.

I personally think being sleepy may be similar to taking a small dose of a depressant. I currently feel like I might be on the pain medication I was taking after I had my wisdom teeth removed. However, I know that I am not, unless my milk was drugged. Or potentially, my broccoli cheddar soup. I did drink green tea as well, but green tea has caffeine and therefore would not necessarily induce sleep. It is relaxing though. So is being sleepy.

I heard somewhere that sleep-deprived driving causes more accidents than drunk driving. I do not know if it was true, but it would make sense. I feel like my head may not be connected to my body right now.

I have spent some time to look up some facts about Sleep Deprivation. I had them copied and pasted in here, but I decided to just put the website link up instead, since it was all directly from it: http://www.squidoo.com/sleep-help I am unaware of whether any of this is true or not, but I put it up anyway. #irresponsible

I would just like to say, being a female on that time of the month does my brains no good either. Perhaps that was TMI for you, but I can't say that I care. I am too tired to care. But don't worry. I'm not scary. Typically the only way you can tell if I'm on it is if I am sleepy and potentially in pain.

Although my stomach hurts very much and I feel like I am on a significant dosage of pain meds, I am also ecstatic right now. I have TWO monitors at work now. That's right, TWO. I am writing this from my second monitor. It is beautiful. Actually, it is the exact same as my other monitor, but it is still wonderful. I had to cram a lot of my origami to other parts of my cubicle, but that is okay. It has been worth it. Also one of our wonderful supervisors has fixed an important program that didn't open for me before. This will make my days far less infuriating.

Still, my lifelong dream right now is to go home and sleep. I feel like I could just sleep through the rest of my life. It sounds amazing right now. It is nothing against being awake, just that I am simply so tired, and sleeping sounds like such a magnificent luxury that I am nearly certain I could be happy if I just never woke up again. I am not allowed though, because I do have a fiance and a family and I think they would be pretty upset. So would several of my friends.

Origami Mice

Although I can smash the "beginner" level, I cannot win at chess on "easy". I will now return to folding small, origami mice.

The Paradox of Right

This is one of the main messages I wish people would pick up on. I've posted it in lots of places already, but it belongs on my blog, also. The following blog is about what I call the Paradox of Right.

Everyone always thinks their right, right? (speaking of beliefs and opinions, not of actions)

If people thought that they were wrong, then the world would just fall apart. You can't believe in something you call wrong. I'm sure everybody knows this (at least in the back of their heads) but its sort of hard to think about. What if people thought they were wrong, yet they believed in it anyway? I'm fairly certain that can lead to insanity.

But everyone is not right, yet still, we have to think we are, or else things will not make any sense. Imagine if we all believed we were wrong, but still believed it. As I stated, we would probably go insane. We must think we are right. All the time.

So, since we cannot think we are wrong and still believe in something, then we must establish our opinions. After all, with no opinions, we would discover nothing. Take science into consideration: no one would find any answers to their questions if they did not believe in what they were searching for.

However, as stated, everyone is not right. More than likely, everyone is wrong, at least to some extent. This is a very humbling thought for humanity. Each individual human absolutely MUST believe they are right, or at least probably right, but at the same time KNOW that they are wrong and probably wrong. (How very paradoxical)

Therefore, you cannot prove to anyone that you are right unless they already partially believe you. Least of all and not even ignorance can be proven wrong. Someone who is wrong who believes they are right will be so absolutely convinced they are right because they are ignorant of their incorrectness. You can prove nothing to such a wall. In the meantime, you can’t believe anything new, and no one can prove anything to you unless you are open to the possibility that they are correct.

Moreover, you can't judge another for thinking they are right because they can't think that they are wrong. And neither can you. Thus is the curse of humankind, and why we continue to fight. "Why can't we get along?" is easy to answer with this simple explanation. We cannot get along because we believe we are right. If you do not believe in something, then what do you amount to and why are you alive? But if you choose something to believe in, then you will have to be forced to accept that you are potentially wrong. Or you could just continue convincing yourself that you are right.

Of course, then you must wonder. Someone must be right somewhere. I do not believe that individual is human. But that is only my opinion.

So in conclusion of the previous statements: just because you’re right, doesn’t mean you’re right, because everyone else is also right whether they are actually right or not.


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Before I completely close this blog, there is a Part Two that you may enjoy. The Paradox of Right explains how futile it is to beat a dead horse. The following is from a page online that my brother found regarding the beating of dead horses.

"Dakota tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, in business we often try other strategies with dead horses, including the following:

1. Buying a stronger whip.

2. Changing riders.

3. Say things like, "This is the way we have always ridden this horse."

4. Appointing a committee to study the horse.

5. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.

6. Increasing the standards to ride dead horses.

7. Appointing a tiger team to revive the dead horse.

8. Creating a training session to increase our riding ability.

9. Comparing the state of dead horses in today's environment.

10. Change the requirements declaring that "This horse is not dead."

11. Hire contractors to ride the dead horse.

12. Harnessing several dead horses together for increased speed.

13. Declaring that "No horse is too dead to beat."

14. Providing additional funding to increase the horse's performance.

15. Do a Cost Analysis study to see if contractors can ride it cheaper.

16. Purchase a product to make dead horses run faster.

17. Declare the horse is "better, faster and cheaper" dead.

18. Form a quality circle to find uses for dead horses.

19. Revisit the performance requirements for horses.

20. Say this horse was procured with cost as an independent variable.

21. Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position.

Make Everything OK

The magic button — Make Everything OK

Car Wrecks and Other Bad Days

A bad day has two sides. First, there is the surface: you got in a car wreck, you lost your wedding ring, you forgot to bring lunch to work and ran out of money, you're low on sleep and had to handle a very irritating situation at work... the list could go on.

Today I am having one of those days, but as I waited for two hours in my car by the side of the road for the police to come, I decided to put my Muse and Incubus away (great musicians, though clearly atheist), and instead I slid a self-created mix of worship music to comfort me. It wasn't too long before I was listening to a song called "Hallelujahs" by Chris Rice (no, perhaps not the most original title, but you must admit, "hallelujah" is a really awesome word). It described beautiful things in nature.

At one point, he mentions a breaching whale. Every time I hear this line, I imagine myself on a beach at night. The sky is navy blue and starry, and sometimes I picture there to be a glowing white disc in the distance (the moon). The violet waves are gently lapping the beach, not substantial enough to create a lot of foam. These waves are cool and they blanket my feet for a moment, pulling the sand from beneath and around them, so that when the water has retreated, I am almost to my ankles in sand. Out in the ocean, the water is sparkling. There is no light to do this, except the stars and the moon. But then, the surface is disturbed as a great, dark creature rears itself from the water. It is far from the shore, but you can see that it is huge. It moves gracefully back under, and then swims up again, only to flop on the surface, like its playing.

That image stuck with me too heavily for me to think of any others, but it was powerful. It was at this point I paid attention to the second side of a bad day: the resolution. If God is big enough, powerful enough, and wonderful enough to create oceans and whales and all sorts of things that were abstract ideas before, then why am I worried about so many things today? They are things that I will need to solve, but nothing truly important has been compromised. Instead, I have been building my faith. I had a car wreck, but if God can raise mountains, calm storms and form the very sky that I stand under, then there is no reason to fear the loss of things only made valuable by other men.

Books

There are six very important books (or series) to me for various reasons, and I very much wish to write something brief about each one. I am not including the Bible, if you are curious.

1. The Harry Potter Series, by J.K. Rowling. This series made me aware of the joy of reading. I had read other books before, but I usually had to force my way through. I eventually learned that horse books bore me. But Harry Potter made me read. It was fun, imaginative, and inspiring. Not to mention, it wasn't wrought with long boring descriptions about things no one cares for.

2. The Giver, by Lois Lowry. This book represents everything I believe in. It is commonly mistaken for a children's story, but it typically isn't very clear to the average American child. It is about love, it is about control, and it is about safety versus beauty. It is also short and to the point, with a very open ending that I appreciate.

3. The Book Thief, by Marcus Zusak. I haven't cried so much while reading a book in my life. This story is really an eye-opener on life in Germany during World War Two, and not as a Jew, but as a poor German child. It is cute, it is funny, it is deep, and it is dark. This story has some of the most creative and effective methods of telling itself. It introduced me to the horrors and the irony of humankind.

4. Ender's Game, by Orson Scott Card. This is another that reminds me of the irony in humankind. This is the book that has probably made me think the most. It is very deep and philosophical. You can read the description and think "Really?" because it sounds just like every other sci-fi alien thing you've heard of, but this story goes beyond itself. It isn't about destroying the aliens. This story is about saving the main character, and ultimately about what humans really are. It explores the good and the bad in humanity. I've read this somewhere between 5 and 8 times, and it is still very good.

5. The Phantom Tollbooth, by Norton Juster. If you are looking for a quirky story, The Phantom Tollbooth is it. This most certainly is a children's book, but it is a children's book that everyone can enjoy. It should be a Pixar or Dreamworks animation. Nothing compares to how mind-bending, imaginative, clever and fun this story is. Everyone should read this book at some point in their life. It emphasizes the importance of intelligence, it makes you laugh, and it makes you think without being dark or scary. I would put a quote here, but to choose my favorite I'd have to put the entire book.

6. Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, by Susanna Clarke. This book didn't have to make me think deeply. It was clever and imaginative, but ultimately with this book I just seriously felt like I accomplished something. This book is more than a thousand pages long. I persevered because it was an entertaining story, and I felt smart reading it. The British humor is fantastic, the characters are colorful, and the imagery is exquisite.

So those are the six most important books that I plan to always own and revisit occasionally. If you have not read any of these books, please read them. Well, I'd forgive you if you did not read JS&Mr.N. It is a tedious venture. But I do believe that specifically, Ender's Game and The Book Thief are something to attempt, while The Phantom Tollbooth, and The Giver are books that everyone should be required to read. About 3/4ths of the population has read Harry Potter so I'm not worried about that.

Misconception: Christians "Love" God to Get to Heaven

Actually, you could take that title either way. It isn't entirely a misconception. The real misconception at the base of that is what Heaven is.

Heaven is where God is. Heaven is being with God, surrounded by him. Heaven could be ugly, brown, gray and dusty; but if it has God then it is worth it. That's what Heaven is. It isn't the streets paved with gold. It isn't the promised places that he prepared for us. It isn't the soft green grass or harps or halos or clouds. Heaven is being with God. I'm in heaven when I'm with God.

Now if you aren't Christian, you are wondering why I think Heaven is so great if it isn't about the pretty stuff in the sky. If you've never been in God's presence then you wouldn't know and I can't explain it. The most I can explain to you is why I love God and why I want to be with him forever.

I love God because in the very beginning, when humanity betrayed him, he promised he would rescue us. I love God because when his people were starving in the desert, he provided them food. When their enemies threatened to destroy them, he led them to victories, accomplishing more than they could have dreamed. When they were slaves, he even gave their slave-owners chance after chance to relinquish them. When they did not, he still rescued his people. He protected and rescued the good, and he wiped out the bad so that good could thrive. Although he makes it clear that women should be women and men should be men, he also esteems them equally. There are many strong and powerful women in the Bible, like Esther. He esteems all creation equally, and understands their places.

I love God because he, a shining being of all-powerful royalty, beautiful in every way, dressed in rags and walked among the lowest places of the earth as a hick from Nazarene. Saying Jesus of Nazareth was like saying Albert of the Midwest back then. I love him because he taught us how to survive in the desert and how to survive in our own personal wildernesses. He gave us hope. God allowed himself to be beaten and speared and tossed into the fiery pits of Hell by taking on all of the burdens we've borne. He carried everything I've ever done - the time I told my brother I hated him, the time I screamed and embarrassed my parents. The times I thought mean and rude things about my classmates, the times I've hurt my parents or lied to someone. He carried the weight of that to Hell so I wouldn't have to.

I love God because he has healed me. Again, and again and again. He has brought me through dark places so I could find beautiful ones. The darker the place I've gone through, the more incredible the things on the other side. I love him because he loved me first. He has pursued me, and not only me, but everyone. He is with us at all times. When your parents didn't do a good enough job, when your brother or sister leaves you, when the person you married fails you, and when your friends drift away, he is always there.

So if you wonder, just remember the list. That isn't even a specific list. But if I were specific, it would be a TLDR* situation and that isn't necessary at this point.

Christians don't pretend to love an imaginary being they can't see out of fears that they won't reach the place with golden streets. Maybe people think they are Christians and do that, but a true Christian isn't in it for that kind of material reward. In the Bible it describes God as being with Abraham and Isaac and everyone in the ancient times. It describes God as being in us after Jesus leaves. In that sense, we know he is there and do not have to see him. We know he is there and we love him because of it. We love him because while he is in us, we can understand it when he speaks to us and teaches us. And while he is in us here, we want to be surrounded by him. That is why we love him, and that is why we want to get to Heaven. It is because we want to get to where God is.

*Too Long Didn't Read